Insights from a 40-day fast
LESSONS LEARNED ON A 40-DAY GRAPE FAST
How do one even begin talking about a forty-day fast?
There were ups and downs, breakthroughs and wipeouts, moments of deep clarity and long stretches of doubt. There was boredom. Weakness. Tears. Revelation. I went in thinking I’d come out with a neat, linear story, and instead I came out with something far messier—and far more honest.
So rather than trying to narrate the experience from start to finish, I’ve decided to share it the only way that feels true: through the lessons that surfaced along the way.
Before we begin, here are the basics.
For years, and with immense support from Nikiforos, I was on a journey to heal lifelong eczema, autoimmune Hashimoto’s, mercury poisoning, weak adrenals, and a handful of other lingering imbalances. Nikiforos and I both knew that incorporating longer fasts could help initiate deeper detox and cellular repair.
Nothing about this fast was spontaneous.
Since October of 2017, we had been preparing our bodies deliberately—eating mostly raw , and completing two shorter mono-fasts: a ten-day orange fast in March and a ten-day grape fast in July. By the time August rolled around, we felt as ready as we were ever going to be.
Our forty-day grape fast took place here on Tinos, Greece, from August 1st to September 9th, 2018. We had looked forward to it for months.
It turned out to be exactly what I thought it would be—and also not at all.
I was often too weak to do much besides lie down and watch videos. I had emotional breakthroughs—and long spells of insomnia, anxiety, and self-doubt. I passed something that looked very much like what people call “mucoid plaque”, but I’ve since come to believe that tools like GI Broom are far more effective for deep gut cleaning.
Nikiforos and I did some things right. We also did many things wrong.
What follows is an honest peephole into that time in our lives—and a way to help us remember these lessons for the next round.
Lesson 1: Have Crystal-Clear Intentions (All 40 of Them)
During the fast, I wrote one intention for each day.
My thinking was this: if I could dedicate each day to a specific intention—rather than treating the forty days as one overwhelming monolith—it would help carry me through the inevitable rough spots. And for the most part, it did.
Having read The Intention Experiment by Lynn McTaggart, I’ve become deeply sensitive to the energetic quality with which I approach anything. Our intentions are usually invisible undercurrents—we assume they’re obvious, when often they’re not. And when they remain unconscious, they can quietly lead us astray.
You really have to get clear on your Big Why.
Why choose something this uncomfortable? Why endure cravings, physical symptoms, and social alienation when you don’t have to? Usually, anyone who undertakes something like this has compelling reasons—but it’s essential to name them, describe them, and write them down.
Clarifying my intentions revealed limiting beliefs I didn’t know I was carrying and turbo-charged my motivation.
I also learned that intrinsic motivations—rooted in love, meaning, and purpose—were far more sustainable than extrinsic ones.
One of my most emotionally charged intentions was for my niece Rhea.
She was six years old during our fast and already had the same painful eczema that my sister has, that my mother has, and that I had. I love my nieces fiercely, and I suffer when they suffer. Especially Rhea, whose inflamed, cracked hands mirrored my own childhood experience so precisely.
I know exactly what it feels like to live inside burning skin. And I didn’t want that future to feel inevitable for her.
So I dedicated day six of my fast to Rhea.
Whenever nausea, fatigue, or cravings crept in, I pictured her scratching her little hands raw—and suddenly, I had all the fuel I needed to keep going. No problem. Intention became propulsion.
Being the guinea pig matters to me. If I can truly heal my lifelong eczema, it might quietly inspire others in my family. Not as a demand, not as pressure—but as proof. I believe these intentions have their own subtle, quantum healing effects. Whether or not anything changes physically for her, something was transmitted that day.
Daily intentions also broke up the psychological slog of the fast. Instead of thinking 36 days left, I focused on what this day stood for—this person, this prayer, this healing.
Getting to forty intentions was easy. I dedicated days to family, friends, personal healing, creative clarity, beauty, and long-range hopes—like healing my body as thoroughly as possible for potential future children, so they might inherit more vitality than I did.
You can imagine how emotionally charged—and motivating—some of these intentions were.
Moral of the story: INTENTIONS WORK. BIG TIME.
Lesson 2: Emotional Detox Is Real
Intention-setting worked most of the time—but not all of the time.
When it didn’t work, it was usually because the symptoms I was experiencing weren’t physical at all. They were emotional. And when those darker emotions took over, it didn’t matter what my intention for the day was—I already felt like I had failed everyone.
Emotional detox is very, very real.
I hadn’t expected such intense emotional responses. I was far more prepared for dramatic physical symptoms—eczema flares, vomiting, parasite cleansing. Instead, my most persistent symptoms were anxiety, grief, self-doubt, fear, and longing.
I believe the body has layers—physical, emotional, energetic—and that disease often originates beyond the physical layer before eventually expressing itself there. Removing food disrupted my usual coping mechanisms and revealed what had been quietly stored beneath the surface.
I faced fears I’d buried. I faced old wounds. I faced my deepest desires—and the possibility that they might never come true. And I couldn’t distract myself with food.
Fasting didn’t create these emotions. It exposed them.
There’s also a less esoteric explanation: organs correlate with emotional patterns.
Liver & gallbladder → anger, jealousy
Thyroid → self-doubt, self-censorship
Adrenals → anxiety
Stomach → early trauma
My constant companion during the fast was anxiety—stronger than I’d ever experienced. And yet, I realized it had always been there in micro-doses, normalized by modern life.
Connecting anxiety to adrenal detox changed everything.
When it arose, I placed my hand on my heart or lower back and said: “My adrenals are detoxing. I support you.” As corny as it sounds, labeling the sensation as physical prevented my mind from spinning catastrophic stories around it.
It didn’t work every time—but often enough to matter.
Moral of the story: EMOTIONAL DETOX IS REAL. EXPECT IT. PLAN FOR IT.
Lesson 3: Beware of Detox Overload
This one’s simple.
Don’t approach detox with a macho mindset.
I layered too many protocols at once, convinced I needed to “do it right.” Eventually, my body made it very clear that it couldn’t keep up. Stopping felt like failure—until I realized that forcing detox was a form of self-violence.
Detox isn’t linear. And it’s definitely not competitive.
Moral of the story: LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY SAYS NO.
Lesson 4: Be Prepared for Intense Cravings
This was the hardest part.
Not everyday hunger—but primal, obsessive cravings for carbohydrates. Rice. Pasta. Bread. One night I walked past a family eating plain spaghetti and had a vivid image of lunging across the table and shoving it into my mouth.
Parasite die-off is real.
When parasites lose their food source, they fight back—triggering powerful hunger signals. These cravings weren’t “me.” They were biochemical.
Outside the fast, I don’t crave carbs. During it? They hijacked my brain.
Emotion-based cravings barely showed up, which felt like a small miracle.
Moral of the story: CRAVINGS PASS. YOU WILL EAT AGAIN.
Lesson 5: Have a Speech Ready
If you fast long enough, people will ask.
Have a simple explanation ready. Decide how much to share. Learn to recognize curiosity versus projection.
Moral: YOU WILL ATTRACT ATTENTION. BE READY FOR IT.
From shadow to light
"You might be wondering how exactly does one begin this type of "inner work" or "shadow work"? While that is an entire subject, I can share a few ideas for you to consider today:
